My first Sex Toy: Buying guide for men

While toys for vulva owners have become commonplace in the last decade, with products designed by celebrities like Lily Allen and Abbie Chatfield making them seem cool and accessible, heterosexual men who use toys have a slight disgust factor.
If you found out your girlfriend had a vibrator, you'd hardly flinch, but men with fleshlights or sex dolls are seen as sad, lonely or perverted.
Sexologist Cam Fraser says this idea stems from our societal perception of male sexuality as simple and straightforward, and therefore a man who needs help with masturbation means there is something wrong with him.
"There are a lot of fears, secrets and taboos around male sex toys that really tend to discourage men from exploring and using them."
But despite this stigma, which could be causing you to miss out on a lot of pleasure, interest in male sex toys is growing.
And for good reason! Using sex toys can improve both your pleasure and your performance during partnered sex.

A sex toy is a good investment. If you choose wisely, chances are it will be with you for a long time, tucked away in a drawer or proudly displayed on your nightstand. So what questions should you ask yourself to make sure you choose the right male sex toy for you?

- Alone or with your partner?
Think about how you will use it. If you're considering using an intimate toy with a partner, this is a good excuse to discuss what she wants from a sex toy. Does she want to see you using something that gives you a lot of pleasure, so she can sit back and watch? Or does she want something that stimulates both of you?

- What kind of sensations do you like? And which ones interest you?
"Start small!"
Instead of a big sex machine, you might want to start with a vibrating cock ring, for example. Something that's not very threatening, not very intimidating, that can make the experience of adding a new product to your masturbation routine easier.
There is a whole world of pleasure available to men, but there is also a whole world of improved sexual function that many men lack.
Since you're curious, here's a demystified, stigma-free look at your options.


Solo pleasure

	The masturbator or commonly called a "pocket pussy" or "stroker". A sort of vagina, anus or mouth into which you insert your penis. If the idea of drilling into a disembodied butt doesn't appeal to you (no shame if it doesn't, the power is yours), there are less anatomical options. Masturbators come in many different shapes and sizes, sometimes very realistic or a little more synthetic and artificial. Automated masturbators can take things to another level, you can slip your sleeve on and let the device do all the work. Some of the more luxurious models can even connect to virtual reality and synchronize with certain porn.
	Penis rings or "cock rings" which also come in a variety of shapes, sizes and materials, from silicone to stainless steel. A cock ring can be used alone or with a partner to help maintain an erection longer.
	Anal plugs and stimulators. There are also many anal simulation toys and prostate massagers designed specifically for the male anatomy and prostate stimulation.
	The penis pump, also known as a "vacuum pump". Used in some cases as a treatment for erectile dysfunction. Sometimes it is a good alternative to oral medications for erectile dysfunction or what is commonly called impotence. In other cases, it can even prevent premature ejaculation. The penis pump is also used simply to increase stimulation and strengthen the erection before taking action.
	The inflatable doll. An inflatable (female) doll is a human-shaped doll made of plastic that can be inflated with compressed air to resemble a woman. They are usually used as sex toys, but some people also use them for their own entertainment, such as a fashion model or even a conversation partner. They can be personalized to suit your tastes and preferences. They are also easy to maintain and clean. They are also very discreet and do not require complicated preparation before use. Finally, they are easy to transport and store when not in use.

Pleasure for two

Sex toys are great for couples. Not only can they enhance your pleasure, but they can also enhance your partner's by adding extra stimulation or helping you last longer.

A cock ring is a good place to start, especially if it vibrates. There are even toys designed to enhance partnering, such as double-penetration dildos or plugs, stimulators or vibrating eggs that can be remotely controlled by a partner via an app. Intimate toys can also help with penetration for people with small penises, micropenises or transgender men. Like the penis extender or the hollow sheath.

But if you want to bring something new into the bedroom, no matter how innocuous or extreme, you need to talk about it. Consent is key. Before you start using sex toys with your partner, it can be very beneficial to have a little conversation, like: "Hey, I'm really enjoying our sex, I just want to add a little more. I think we could explore a little more together."


What can go wrong?

We've all heard stories of people going to the emergency room after putting things up their butts.
If you're planning on using anal toys and want to avoid a very unpleasant ambulance ride, make sure you get something with a flared base or, if you're going for anal beads, something with a long enough handle to make it easier to pull out. Don't get lost in the rectal cavity.
It's important to be careful with cock rings, especially those made of inflexible materials such as metal or hard plastic.
It is also important to use lubricant, and the right lubricant for your toy.


Cleaning

When used frequenty, your toys can get dirty. You don't want to keep coming back to a sperm-filled silicone ass.

This may seem obvious, but wash your toys after use.
Many people put their toys back in the drawer after an orgasm, leave them there and forget about them.
This post-session wash is really important for your toys. You can get baby wipes, special sex toy cleaners, or just washing with a little soap and water can also help with longevity and hygiene.
It's also a good idea to wrap your toys in a condom, especially if you're going to share them and use them in different orifices at the same time.

So men, don't be afraid of toys! They can be a lot of fun and make you an even better lover.