My first Sex Toy: Buying guide for couples

Many people have opinions about sex toys. The number of myths is endless, and few know how many sex toys are available beyond the vibrators, butt plugs and dildos advertised in the erotic media.
There is a way to experience pleasure beyond the heteronormative, penetrative sexual scenario.
Sex toys can help create space for pleasure and intimacy beyond, or in conjunction with, penetrative or oral sex, and toys invite couples into a sex life that continually explores sex. Each partner's evolving arousal.
There are a variety of reasons why couples of all genders and dynamics may want to incorporate toys into their sex life. Toys are a way to expand the sexual repertoire and experience different sensations and physical pathways to arousal and orgasm.

Talk to your partner about including sex toys.

Although we live in a more open, inclusive and sexually exploratory social world, the introduction of sex toys into a couple's sex life remains highly stigmatized. As a collective group of people, negative associations such as vaginal toys are equated with the inadequacy in one partner, possible sexual dysfunction in the receiving partner, and even the idea that the current sexual dynamic is boring or not good enough.
Sex toys can be used to spice things up, to expand the sexual repertoire, to give each partner the space to explore their sexual senses and pleasure beyond penetration, and to experience intimacy in new ways.
There are a few things to consider when introducing a toy to your partner. It can be helpful to be prepared to debunk myths about toys and the negative connotations they carry. Being curious about expanding not only your own sexual experiences, but your partner's as well, affirms that toys are mutually beneficial and sets a "we" rather than an "I" tone.
As you embark on a journey of sexual exploration to discover what feels good, remember that briefing, consent, trust et de debriefing are an integral part of any experience to ensure that all partners feel safe, comfortable, and able to be present in the moment.

Not too big, not too intimidating.

When it comes to size, resist the urge to get the biggest dildo or vibrator you can find. It's easier than you think to end up with something unmanageable if you're a beginner. There's plenty of room to upsize later, once you're sure it's what you want and need.
Keep it simple! When couples first start using sex toys, one of them may feel intimidated if it's something big with lots of bells and whistles.

Start with the basics: vibrators, dildos, plugs and cock rings.



When considering what toys to buy, try to understand the purpose, what each person is looking for and what each partner is willing to explore. The most important thing is to talk about what turns you on, what you're comfortable with and what's off limits.
If both parties agree to experiment with sex toys, there's nothing wrong with keeping it simple, at least at first.
Vibrators are a good place to start when it comes to sex toys for couples. There are many different moods and ways to use them. Designed to stimulate both partners, couples vibrators can also please the male partner by delivering vibrations to the scrotum, shaft or head of the penis.

Massage oils:

Remember that orgasmic climax is not the only part of an erotic experience. It all begins with foreplay. Perhaps starting with a non-genital area of the body would be a great way to discover other erogenous zones in each other.

Remote controlled sex:

Couple toys often have the option of remote-controlled vibrations that can stimulate the prostate, anal glands, and vaginal and clitoral glands. These toys can be controlled by a Bluetooth remote that stays connected up to several feet away, or by a smartphone app for couples who may be separated by states or oceans. Remote sex toys can create a space for couples to multitask sexually at the same time. For example, when a couple uses a remote-controlled prostate massager, each has their hands free to manually stimulate other areas or for the other partner(s) to have penetrative sex.

Electric stimulation:

For those who are reluctant to involve their genitals in new types of play, electrosex is an incredibly pleasurable alternative. This type of play adds a whole new level of sensation that many people enjoy and is great for experimentation as a couple. Despite its name, electrosex does not involve delivering electric shocks to an intimate partner. In fact, electrostimulation toys are not designed to be inserted into the body at all. Instead, one partner slides them over the other's body - like an ice cube or feather - to create a pleasant, tingling and sometimes warm sensation. For couples who like a little more intense stimulation, there are also accessories that can be purchased to increase the electrical sensations.

Because we can develop new neural pathways every time we climax, using toys will actually improve your sex life. It's safe to say that using toys makes the world a better place and you a better person, so what are you waiting for?